Gennaiosophy
Two things right now.

First, Catch-22 is my new favorite book. That is the best ending I've ever read. Picked me right up and made me excited. Now I want to read the sequel, even if it isn't as good as the first — I've just gotta find out what happens to Yossarian.

Second, I was reading The Unicorn, and I found a passage that completely changed my outlook. I'm feeling truly good for the first time in quite a while. Here it is:

Freedom may be a value in politics, but it's not a value in morals. Truth, yes. But not freedom. That's a flimsy idea, like happiness.
...
Plato tells us that of all the things which belong to the spiritual world beauty is the one which is most easily seen here below. We can see wisdom only darkly. But we can see beauty quite plainly, whoever we are, and we don't need to be trained to love it. And because beauty is a spiritual thing it commands worship rather than arousing desire....But of course unless there are other virtues, other values, such worship can become corrupt.

I'm not sure exactly what it was about it; I just know I feel phenomenally better than before. So, I'll quit on that happy note.

Redomo
Well, I'm back home again...and not looking forward to all the homework before the holiday...

And, dammit, I forgot the Illiad! D:<

I've been kinda jittery since last night. My heart's beating hard, I feel kinda dizzy, and I have no idea whether it's just anxiety, lack of sleep, or what.

I'm about to go to the library to get research materials...just over a week before my paper's due. -_- I wish time would just stop for a while, give me some time to straighten everything out without killing myself in the process. *sigh*

Chain
I have no real reason to be posting right now. I'm just so friggin' bored. I'm here by myself with absolutely nothing to do (at least, nothing I feel like doing), waiting for dinner to be ready at a house a few doors down. But I'm sure this will somehow evolve into its own rant.

Deja vu all over again, give or take a bit. For the moment everything seems alright, but it took a crazy turn before...well, I hope for the best. Not really much I can do. I am very sorry if I once more said things the wrong way...I guess even writing doesn't help that much. It's just, even beyond that, I really enjoy flirting with people. Heck, I bet if a gay guy started hitting on me, I'd play along, even though I'm straight. (In fact, I think I have before...) It's just fun! Still, going back to what I said earlier, I can't think fast enough to do that sort of thing outside the digital arena. Of course, I'm not really in that kinda situation very often IRL, so I don't really have any chance of getting better at it.

Wow, that paragraph made a 90º turn! ^^;

Gwarg, I wish someone was out here...Jesse's sick, the Ian's mom won't let her go out...I'll probably go out and do stuff with Daniel and April after dinner. That should be fun. Different, anyway, at least for me. I'll find what "normal folks" do on a Friday night. A-hyuck! :B

Well, looks like there's another 20 minutes before dinner is ready now. I'll probably run out of stuff to talk about before then, though, so...uh...yeah.

Mmm...I made a buncha chocolate chip cookies earlier. Dey's yummy! ^_^ Nothing compared to the cookies Mrs. Simpkins makes, or the ones Mrs. Stadler makes. I swear, they must put crack in those or something! It's like reid's crackpie, or Patrick's crackachino.

Bluuuuuuh! There's nobody online. :\ When will my sufferring cease? I know, I know, death, but it's a little to early for that, dontcha think? :p

Well, I'm either gonna get on IRC, play Panel de Pon, Animal Crossing, or PSO. Something like that, anyway -- oh, hey, dinner's ready! YAY FOODE!

[UPDATE 10:58pm] Ugh, I'm stuffed. Too much good food... Forget Daniel and April, I can't do anything in this condition. :p Dad and I played some Sonic, and he's going to bed. I should follow him, but...I wanna stay on the computer. ^_^

Editor's Note
Lack of sleep can really screw up what you're trying to say, you know? But, rather than go back and edit what I wrote, I'll just clarify here. [Mainly, it's just the second paragraph that needs to be reworked...]

I've been warded from taking any action by the recent events. I have pretty much given up on everything, which improves my stability and alters my actions, but doesn't really do much else to change how I think and feel. The main thing of it is...I just need someone. Someone to sympathize with, and reciprocate my feelings. But since my last attempt ended so disastrously, I'm just going to wait it out. Someone's going to come to me eventually, and I don't want to lose any more self-respect than I already have by taking a risk on it. I'm content to just sit and wait; let things be, y'know?

Right now, I don't know whether to lash out or point and laugh, or just keep quiet. By all appearances, I'm much more over this situation than she is. Her attempts to...well, I'm not real sure what she's trying to do, but it's pissing me off; at the same time, it's so pathetic I can't help but feel sorry for her.

Of course, I'm one to talk about pathetic. I can't communicate anything without writing about it. I'm too dependent on my blog for communicating what I'm thinking. It's just...I need the time and the ability to revise what I'm saying. Face-to-face, I can't think quickly enough to say what I'm trying to say with the best possible wording. I mean, if you've ever talked to me, you know it's a lot more like talking at me — I rarely say anything, and when I do, it's mostly just grunts, interjections, and disjointed ideas. Almost any time I speak in a full sentence, it is, to some extent, premeditated.

Okay, I'm babbling. I'll shut up now.

[EDIT] I realized I forgot to clarify something else from that paragraph: both are to a lesser extent than the one previously. If that doesn't make sense to you, it probably shouldn't. :p

Witching Hour Blues
It's 1:30 in the morning, and there's nothing to do. Only one person worth talking to is on. Nobody has updated their blog/LJ since the last time I read them. I'm on dialup, so I can't do crazy bandwidth consumption stuff. I'm tired, but I don't want to climb the stairs to get to bed.

And in the wee hours of the morning, my mental state is undergoing severe changes. For one, I thought I could make myself get over her by trying to focus my attentions elsewhere...now I have two girls constantly on my mind. -_-

...Wait, that sounds really dirty in a way I did not mean. Disregard any excess perversion in that statement.

Anyway, Thanksgiving, as always, brought good food. There is no better food than my grandmother's dressing. My dad and I made a whole bunch of stuff for breakfast. I did the most in the creation of the cranberry scones. Nice and flaky and perfect with a dab of butter and a glass of milk. And no Thanksgiving would be complete without lots of pumpkin pie and other pumpkin-based baked goods.

I'm discussing the viability of Internet travel with Jesse right now...mainly because it'd be easier to get zapped to her bed by the computer than to climb the stairs to mine.

...Wait, more unintended innuendo. Bwah, I can't write right this late...early...earte.

It'd be really cool if I could fly. Lately, I've been contemplating the construction of a device that would amplify one's psychic energy into telekenetic motion of the device, allowing the user to float and fly around while the device is attatched. I've kinda envisioned it with large, hemispherish things on the hands, feet and neck, and a very thin wire-kinda-thingy connecting them all, so as not to cause them to interfere with whatever you're wearing anyway. But, as I know nothing of telekenesis, this will probably never happen, at least not by my doing.

On other psychic matters, for years I've been trying to hone my telepathic skills; I've never gotten a reply to anything I say, so that means that either a) the people I'm trying to contact have no ability to transmit telepathic messages, b) I have no ability to transmit telepathic messages, or c) I have no ability to receive telepathic messages. But will I give up? Never! I'm really interested in the phenomenon of shared dreaming, where two or more individuals experience the same dream. I have experienced this once before, though it was entirely unintentional. I don't know if such a dream has ever been had lucidly before, though, and that's where I've set my final goal. Imagine what could be done in a dream being experienced by another person, and you both know it's a dream and can take advantage of it.

...Dangit, more unintended dirtiness! That is not what I meant. But, anyway, since I can't seem to contact people psychically to alert them to the fact that I'm trying to conduct such an experiment as it happens, I'll contact them here. So lemme know if you want to try this. I just hope it'll work this time. -_-

It's now 2:10am, and...I'm feeling kinda lonely now...I need a hug...or sleep...or both...hugsleep...*_*

Junkie Cosmonaut
Saturday was freakin' awesome. Helen picked me up at about 1, we went to get Kim and Ian and headed over to Adam's house, where he and his mom made us a late lunch/early dinner of cheese soup and falafel. :9 Then we headed for Shotokan, the local comic/anime shop, where we rented Love Hina, GTO vol. 4 for Kim, and Adam and I played DDR and Guilty Gear XX. Zappa 0wnz, by the way. :D Then we went back to his house, watched Love Hina, Fruits Basket, Inuyasha, and Gravitation. And, on the scale of creepiness, Gravitation is surprisingly lower than I had anticipated, since so many of the guys were incredibly feminine anyway. Ian had to clear out early, but it was fun while she was there. Stargazing on the trampoline was fun. ^^

Afterwards, I spent the night and the next day at my dad's. But after the previous night, the day was something of a downer. In fact, the whole week probably will be, since it's unlikely that I'll see much of y'all over the break. :(

But today brought a huge upshot: 1480 on the SAT. ^_____________________^

The Return of AmzRigh
Wow, it's been a while since I've posted. May as well start at the beginning.

Helen came over on Friday. We watched Ranma, and I got her re-hooked on FFVI. Not too eventful, but altogether enjoyable.

Saturday, Helen and I went to Adam's house. We watched GTO vol. 4, the first five eps of Fruits Basket (very good, I recommend it to all of you), Inyu Yasha when it came on, and some flash animations: Electronic Voice Chocobo and Strong Bad's E-Mail. Kim called and kept Adam on the phone for two hours, most of which he spent in the closet. Of course, the only parts Helen and I heard were the perverted ones: "If you were my homework, I'd do you." -_-;

What else...? The week itself, not much has happened. I'm going to my dad's tonight, so w00t for that. Hey Helen, if you're reading this before I call you, you wanna make a Shotokan run and do stuff at my dad's house?

Hey, and fun link for the day: Weebl & Bob. Most bizarrely-funny stuff I've ever seen.

Turning Point
Son Volt - Route

Futility has sunk in, and I feel better for it.

Level 2 Complete!
Craaaaazy night last night...but crazy in a good way.

I hit the next stage of my recovery: I was flirting with Amy (or should I call her Ian so she won't kill me? ^^;) on AIM. This got me incredibly hyper, and the Radiohead I was listening to only made me even moreso. This led to a bizarre conversation with Helen later. I'm still kinda on a residual high from that...

Then last night were some of the most enjoyable dreams I've had in some time. In the first, we were performing The Memorandum again. I didn't realize this until about five minutes before the performance, nor did I learn until then that one drastic change had been made: we were using puppets. I woke up shortly before the performance, only to have even weirder dreams later. In the second, the school was very strange, nothing like it really is. The floors weren't connected by stairs: you had to jump. It was in a swamp. It was your basic gothic-platformer atmosphere. Pine tried to pick a fight with me, but I tricked him. :D Then it turned into some kind of adventure. Kim and I were resting in some apparently safe area in a creepy, dark building that looked like a cross between an old mansion and some industrial complex. There were lots of people passing through, too (the only one of which I can remember was Sara; I think she picked a sword off the table), like it actually was some kind of game going on, but the element of danger was still there...it's kinda hard to relate, since it was pretty much uneventful; just being there, you know? The one thing that I do remember is that no words were said between Kim and I: it was entirely ocular discourse, if that makes any sense.

Well...I've run out of stuff to talk about, and I can think of a good conclusion.

News Flash
Well, Helen, it looks like we're gonna have to put of GTO vol4 off yet again, as Kim has told me she will be at UD this weekend. You'll probably be able to better determine the entire situation than I, so I'll leave that bit up to you.

Failing GTO this weekend, we could always repeat last Saturday (minus the Arby's mishap, of course). But whatever. I'm up up for anything.